Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Here is March's key decoration. I did put it up at the first of the month, but I've been a bad blogger.

There still isn't any knitting going on. The hand is still sore and we've also had a family matter which is so stressful knitting isn't an option right now. I know knitting would help relieve/lessen the stress; yet the same stress is making it too difficult to concentrate enough to follow a pattern. Maybe a burp cloth or dish cloth would be mindless enough?

I don't mean to be vague but I'm just not ready to write about it. One thing going on is just trying to deal with the feelings of leaving my husband and leaving the kids there with him. I don't think people who haven't been through it don't realize how absolutely devastating it is to make such a decision knowing it will have such a negative impact on the children. And I can't tell my side without dissing the dad and I just can't do that anymore. But I wish the kids could understand that it was so awful that I had to make that decision. But contrary to recent events I feel the kids are in great hands with their dad. One thing I hope my kids will take away from this horrible event is that one's spouse should be their equal and the most important person (even above their children) and should be one's best friend. Your spouse should be the safe place to go; safe from judgement, safe from criticism, safe to be yourself. I wish there is some way the children could be with both of us, but that's not possible. And one thing I really don't understand is that if the kids think I was such a horrible mom and wife why aren't they happy I left? All I've ever wanted is to be first with someone. I wonder if I'll ever have that in my life?

Okay, enough with the depressing thoughts.

Happy Knitting!


Blogger Bliss said...

You are in a hard spot, but it is not too much to expect to be #1. Here's wishing you happier days ahead. Be kind to yourself.

blissfulknitter AT gmail DOT com

8:35 PM  

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